Special Days at Work

Once a month our office celebrates Cake Day. On the first Wednesday of every month people bring cake or other desserts to celebrate birthdays and anniversaries of employment in the office. Everyone stands around for about 20 minutes eating every variety of desserts after politely standing in line. It's a tradition that has gone on in the company for many many years and is enjoyed by nearly everyone. By nearly I mean the new maintenance guy thinks it's stupid.

While shoving a piece of pecan pie into my mouth I overheard him talking to another person. He casually uttered a heresy while drinking some coffee and digging a fork into his torte. "I think this is dumb, we should have breakfast day instead."

Who the hell does this guy think he is? He's worked here one week and he wants to just crap all over Cake Day because he thinks it's dumb? I have to give him some credit for having the balls to speak his mind but when there are fifty people (mostly women) enjoying desserts, I doubt very seriously his lobbying for pancakes and sausage will amount to much. He will now forever be known on this blog as Cake Hater.

Beyond Cake Day another great tradition has begun in the workplace. I like to call it "Don't Park your Car at Work Day." Because of some Board of Directors meetings and some other events going on in our building there are not enough parking spaces for everyone to park. I was running late one morning last week and there were zero spaces. I drove around the lot twice and even the acceptable illegitimate spots were taken by the desperate few that no doubt arrived minutes before me. I called the receptionist and she told me to try to find another place down the street because an email was sent out to the entire staff for volunteers to open up spots for the board meeting that was scheduled to begin in about 30 minutes.

I waited for someone to come out and move their car for a board member and then I took their spot. Yeah it was a lame thing to do but I resented having to give up a spot to someone who was going to leave at 3pm while I would have to walk six blocks to my car on a rainy night.

Another special day at work is today. I will call it "Don't take a shit at work day." The water is out. The bathrooms are closed and there's no water to drink. To add pain on top of pain there is no estimated time as to when the water will be working again. It seems a pipe broke after a cold weather evening and the water has been shut off in the whole building. Just knowing I can't use the bathroom right now makes me want to use it more. I sat in a meeting and made the mistake of holding it so now I'm stuck with a full bladder and it's all I can think about. I'm considering peeing in a bottle at my desk but I haven't had time to work out the logistics. When I do I'll post the details.

Damn, I just came back from the bathroom to see if I could sneak a rogue pee in one of the stalls but someone already took a dump in a toilet that had no water. Either they didn't get the message or they were desperate enough to leave a pile of logs on the cold porcelain and then escape with whatever dignity they had left. I refused to add urine to the tightly arranged pile so I left the bathroom disappointed and angry. Today should have been Stay at Home Day.